"Don't Have Too Much Fun!"

A Guide to Relaxing the Rules And Creating Fun

Every one of my grandchildren has heard my warning, “Don’t have too much fun!”

Every one of my grandchildren has refused to heed the warning, exactly as I intended. You see, the warning is actually an invitation, a playful coaxing to have extravagant fun. And they know it!

So much of parenting and grand parenting is about setting rules and boundaries. We are the barriers to bad behavior and the guard rails to hurt and harm. We shelter and nurture. So imagine the fun that comes when, at our bidding, all of those disappear.

If you dare, consider these three invitations to “too much fun”…

Make A Mess

No, no, clean up the mess, right? That’s no fun, but permission to make the mess, well that’s too much fun! I’ve never licensed a food fight. Seems like a waste of food, but I have opened our bedroom to a pillow fight that includes pillows of all sizes from every room in the house - throw pillows, sleep pillows, pillow pets. My grandson, Carter, is the pillow-fight master and he bends the rules to include comforters, blankets and sleeping bags. What a mess.

All of our grandkids are obsessed with Magnatiles. They are intended for building, this generation’s Lincoln Logs, but Carter’s one year-old brother, Aiden, is more into destroying. When he is distracted, I will build a glorious castle and when he spots it and destroys it with glee. What a mess.

Boys will be boys, but girls will be girls. On an imaginary trip to the Bermuda Triangle, Kinsley, Sophia and Evie have a ton to pack. Out comes the suitcase and every article of clothing, it seems, in the dress-up box, jewelry, snacks, silky gloves, hats and, of course, stuffies. What a mess.

Just so you know, the clean-up happens, but only after the mess. It’s the small price they pay for having too much fun.

Stay Up Late (Get Up Early!)

The word “sleepover” is an oxymoron isn’t it? It really means little sleep. The good news is that staying up late for an eight year-old means 9 O’clock. I can deal with that. The problem is that they are winding up as I am winding down, so I need to find ways to inject fun into the waning hours.

When our kids were little we would occasionally wake them up for a “pajama ride.” It was a special rule-breaker at Christmas time when we ventured out in the dark to see Christmas lights. Sometimes it was just because. At other times of the year, especially in the summer, nighttime is ripe for flashlight tag or Rocket Copters. The only danger is that they may not want to come in and go to bed!

By the way you can flip staying up late for getting up early. That can be more fun, especially if it begins with Dunkin Donuts and especially if you’re a morning person like me. Take their breakfast orders at bedtime and prepare an elaborate morning meal of fresh fruit and finger foods like… pancakes.

Break The Rules

I know what you’re thinking. “This is not the message we want to send our grandchildren!” OK instead of “breaking” the rules, let’s call it “suspending” the rules or “relaxing” the rules. On the special occasion of a sleepover or a birthday or a snow day, you decide that rules can be relaxed resulting in… too much fun!

“No jumping on the bed!” But today, with my supervision, jump away.

“No splashing in the tub!” But today, with towels covering the floor, splish-splash!

“No dessert until you’ve eaten your dinner!” But today, dessert is dinner.

Relaxing the rules heightens their interest in the rules themselves and makes them more likely to keep them when they are back in force. In the moment, however, you can see and sense their excitement! Use it sparingly and see how it stirs up too much fun.

If you’ve ever approached a lighted intersection where the lights are not working, you feel that sudden and surprising sense of adventure. Sure, you look both ways, but then you go, without permission from a green light or prevention from a red light. No lights! No rules! Share this excitement with your grandchildren.

Now before you unsubscribe to these posts, just consider that relaxing the rules might actually cause them to appreciate them more. Maybe rules really were made to be broken, at least occasionally and with our careful supervision.

They are only young once and the days of sleepovers and visits to Grandpa’s house are numbered. While much of the time is spent teaching lessons, memories will likely be born in times of too much fun.