Those Teachable Moments
Seeing & Seizing Opportunities to Go Deeper
They are like shooting stars. You never know when they will come and once they’re gone, they’re gone forever. That’s the way with so called, “teachable moments.”
Grand parenting can range from being exhausting to just plain fun. I tell my friends, “It is exhausting and exhilarating!” From time to time, however, there are special moments which open a door to more. I’ve learned to look for them and embrace them.
I’ll share three with you and then a few tips on recognizing them when they come.
Bermuda Triangle
Not long ago we had our 8 year-old grandson, Carter, for a sleepover. Having exhausted most of the activities he likes during the day, nighttime posed a challenge. Venturing out into our garage, I grabbed a book we had stored away entitled, “Mysteries of the World.” We sat on the couch together reviewing things like the Indus civilization that disappeared 3000 years ago for no reason and Malaysian Flight 370 that left the radar and was never found.
Then we came to the Bermuda Triangle. This captured Carter’s imagination and we ended up reading the chapter and then going to Netflix to watch a short documentary on it. He passed the story on to his five year-old sister, Sophia and cousin Kinsley who have since created a pretend travel game. They pack their belongings to go off to the Bermuda Triangle. Scary is sometimes fun for kids!
That one evening was educational and grew out of a random search in the garage, a teachable-moment-treasure-hunt!
Adventure Sticks
Tendercrop is a wonderful farm just down the road from us. In addition to fresh fruit and vegetables and organic meats, they provide outside fun for kids: mountains of tires to climb, huge plastic culverts for tunnels and slides and the seasonal favorite - a corn maze! Last week I took three of my grandchildren to “Get Lost in the Corn Maze” only to find that the cornfield had been clear cut. All except for a few standing stalks were gone for the season.
As disappointment spread across their faces I yelled, “This is great! They left us some adventure sticks!” Suddenly interested again, they listened as I explained that we would be adventurers, using the remaining cornstalks and their special powers to subdue enemies and lead us forward. I began trying to remove the stalks, slicing one of my fingers in the process. The two girls became nurses and brought me some husks to wrap my finger until I could get a bandaid in the car. This gave me an opportunity to tell them how God had made our bodies to heal and blood to clot - an unexpected teachable moment.
After praying for God’s protection, we were back to the adventure and made our way out of the field and back to the car, casting spells of water, wind and fire against our enemies. They asked if they could take their adventure sticks home, and I consented (you’re welcome, Mom and Dad!).
Death of River
Sometimes the teachable moments run deep.
My son rescued a brown Lab mix in Pennsylvania and brought him home to New Hampshire. Both Carter and Sophia (at that time 6 and 4) fell in love and they became a family of five. In the summer of his second year, River contracted a blood disease believed to be from a tick bite. The family spent considerable money on treatments and even a transfusion. Our church and others prayed for God’s healing, but shortly after this video below, River passed.
Shortly after his death, Sophia was in the back of our car and, after a long silence, asked, “Do you have a Dad?” I replied, “Yes, but he died.” That led to a long conversation about River, about death and heaven and God. I explained that sometimes God takes things away and that our prayers were answered because River was no longer in pain. She asked if I was sad about my dad and wanted him to come back. I told her that I missed him but glad he wasn’t suffering anymore.
Later that day at our house, her dolls started dying and going to heaven, then being healed by God and coming back to life. It was a four-year-old way of processing some very deep, spiritual issues.
Even young children ponder the deeper things of life. “(God) has set eternity in our hearts…” (Ecclesiastes 3.11) It is sometimes our privilege to lead them there.
A Couple of Tips
Know your grand-children - If that seems obvious it isn’t. Proverbs 22:6 contains an often repeated instruction that is often misinterpreted. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (King James version) People of faith have taken this to mean that as long as parents and grandparents steer a child in the right way, he/she will stay on the path. I know too many children of wonderful parents who have strayed from the “right way” to believe that this is true. An old professor of mine, Dr. Douglas Stuart of Gordon-Conwell Seminary, sets the record straight, I believe, in this clip (start at 25:50). In short he is saying that this is a warning rather than a promise to us that we tune in to a child’s nature to want “his own way” so that we can protect him from himself and the way he would go without our guidance.
Trust Yourself - You’ve got a history, and many of the questions you will be asked have been asked and answered by you. You have something else, the trust of your grandchildren. They look to you for wisdom and guidance. Even if that guidance is a story rather than some grand “lesson,” they will listen and begin to live it out.
One example: In the clutter of kids each week, they will often lose something. Sometimes as we begin our search, I will remember to pray with them. “God knows where this is,” I remind them, then we pray and resume our search. This has been my practice since our kids were small. I estimate that in all those years our success rates in finding the lost is around 90%.
You’re not perfect but your grandchildren trust you. You should too! Take the lessons you’ve learned and pass them on.
Top notch!