The Labor of Love

Including Your Grandchildren in the Play Called "Work"

My father’s voice still rings in my ears: “If you want anything done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.” There is some truth to that, especially if you’re a perfectionist. But it’s almost always better to include others. My dad was a great fisherman but I never learned because he didn’t have the patience to endure my missteps, wayward casts and snagged lines.

As a result I have tried to include my grandchildren in some of my daily duties. Experts suggest that the average adult makes 33,000 to 35,000 total decisions each day. Wow! These include what we will eat, what we will wear, what we will do and say. With our grandchildren alongside us, there ought to be a few hundred decisions they could be a part of.

Here are a few…

Helping Out

We are blessed to have my mother-in-law living with us. She is one of those people who, according to the Psalms, “…still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.” Although she is very capable of taking care of herself and helping others, even she can use a hand watering her garden (Aiden below).

There is something about the words, “Can you help me with this?” that flips a switch with kids. It is an invitation to adulthood that they seldom refuse. My grandson, Carter (below in video), has been waiting for years to mow my lawn, first with a push mower and now with a rider. At nine, his legs are still not long enough to engage the engine while sitting in the seat, but he still has the dream. Until he reaches it he is content to be a dragger of brush and washer of cars.

Preparing Meals

I have many memories in the kitchen with my mom. I bet you do too! I credit her with teaching me things like pressing lightly on a cake to see if it springs back and is done, using creamed corn in Shepherd’s Pie and never, ever wasting extra pie crust dough that could become a scrumptious cinnamon roll.

Children delight in helping to prepare meals - and by that I mean desserts - whether that help is measuring or stirring or taste-testing. Evie and Kinsley (above) are always up for cracking an egg, stirring batter or carving fruit for fruit kabobs. Most recently Evie flirted with the idea of spinning pizza dough (below). She had seen her father do it and she came so close! Maybe next time.

Labors of love that take place in the kitchen spill over to the rest of life. They become giving skills that benefit others. My mother was known for delivering meals to the elderly, even when she became elderly. Your little cooks will not only learn to provide for themselves and maybe a family in time, but they will learn to provide for others.

Cleaning Up

Some have it, some don’t. Sophia and Kinsley have it in spades! “It” is the desire to take on tasks like cleaning a floor or wiping down a deck. They can be messy little girls, but they are in touch with their cleaner side. Given a sponge, they are down on their knees and washing the floor… with smiles!

When they are finished, Sophia notices that our floor boards have separated, leaving cracks. With her cowgirl boots, she stomps and pushes them together. It’s a little job I have delegated to her and she owns it.

Cleaning up after yourself is just work. Cleaning for others is a labor of love that is a life-long opportunity that evolves from floors and decks to hurts and healing. Though she doesn’t know it now, Sophia is preparing to be a friend of a friend in need.

Including Others

It’s easy to keep the good times for yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Tuesdays and Thursdays are our days - my wife and two to five grandchildren - to ourselves. It’s harder, however, to include others. One day we were with our granddaughter, Kinsley, at a park and she took it upon herself to make a friend and include her in her play. It was beautiful to watch, completely spontaneous.

They call it play but it began with work. It would have been easier to ignore the stranger, but Kinsley, after a little hesitation, made the move and they played together until it was time to go. In the years to come she will learn that making friends and including them is one of the purest expressions of love and leads to things more valuable than play.

As you read this, consider the 35,000 decisions that are ahead for you today and make a point to include a little one in some of them. It’s harder that making them yourself, but they are some of the best decisions you will ever make. And they will lead them to love others.